The Little One was very fussy the other night. She would wake up and ask for boob time. I gave it to her, of course. We have been doing this for the past 21 months!
But the thing is, its already past midnight and she keeps waking up. Nurses for a while and then she lets go. This is my cue to turn and find my comfortable spot. As soon as I turn, she would cry! I give her more boob time. She lets go. I turn. She cries.
I look at the clock, its 3 AM already! I need to sleep, I have work in the morning. I’m getting frustrated. I’m getting angry! I don’t know what she wants. She keeps crying and she would climb on me which means I won’t find my comfortable spot!
I decided to pick her up and dance her to sleep. When I knew she’s already out … I gently placed her back on the bed. Guess what … she cried! Woke up barely 2 minutes after I put her down. Arrgh! I picked her up again and sat on the rocking chair. She slept. I couldn’t. I decided to put her back on the bed. Bad move. She’s awake again.
I’ve been awake most of the night already. I’m exhausted. At one point (and this is not something I am proud of … ) I angrily asked her what she wants. I almost threw a tantrum myself! Then I remembered that she is not really giving me a hard time… she’s having a hard time. I just couldn’t figure it out. There’s something wrong. So I sucked it up and let her sleep on my arms.
Then in the morning I found out why she couldn’t sleep. She has the sniffles. She couldn’t breathe properly! That’s why she keeps on climbing on me. She wants her head to be elevated. (clever girl!! mommy … not so much)
I felt so guilty the whole day. I shouldn’t have lost my temper.
Next morning, she was all smiles. Gave me bear hugs and wet kisses .. saliva and snot combined.
morning giggles. excuse the face.
Dear Baby Girl,
Sorry I lost it the other night. I promise to be better.